…with a Manual-Focus Camera Lens and Non-Prescription Eyeglass Lenses, so Don’t Give Me Grief until You’ve Tried Pulling Off this Crazy Stunt Yourself…
I have not done an all-out product endorsement blog yet, so today is a first. Mind you, I am not getting anything free for doing this. I’m doing it because I think you ought to consider this very cool company if you’re in need of some eyeglasses.
But first, the short-version of the long and sordid tale of my eye problems.
I have used corrective vision solutions since I got my first pair glasses for nearsightedness in second grade. Over time, my eyes worsened and in my late thirties, as a single parent with three kids in diapers, I decided to do something about my extremely limiting myopia. I went to the best, most reputable doctors in my large metropolitan area to have lasik eye surgery. Unfortunately, the initial operation on one eye was bungled and my vision was under-corrected on both eyes. One of my corneal flaps did not fair well and was subsequently made worse with two additional attempts to “fix” it which resulted in over-correction of that eye and an even more messed up corneal flap.
It probably did not help that throughout the ordeal, these esteemed medical doctors were flooding my already mercury poisoned body with mercury-laden eye-drops for weeks, months actually. But how were they to know? How was I to know this was not a good thing?
Finally, these two doctors went to an international conference in Australia and presented my case. The consensus from around the world was that my doctors should stop treating me and leave things alone.
[Interject my usual sarcastic comments here or feel free to come up with your own.]
Today, I sort of see with monovision. Both eyes have gotten slightly worse in terms of nearsightedness and farsightedness so the difference is not as noticeable to me as it used to be. I don’t see well at night due to debris on the outer perimeter of my cornea, a direct result of the scraping and stretching done to “fix” the flap. When my eyes dilate in dim light, there’s a lot of uh, let’s call it “interference” that distorts my night vision. Glasses cannot fix that.
Here’s an interesting tidbit. The post-lasik vision took a turn for the worse many years later after a case of arsenic poisoning from kelp. Yes, kelp! For this reason alone, I don’t recommend the stuff. All of the arsenic symptoms have been resolved thanks to my unintentional but convenient knowledge of safe heavy metal poisoning treatment; with the exception being my worsened near-sightedness. My vision never recovered.
That’s why I still need glasses most of the time: to see far away. I also need them to see very close-up. There is a range of distance where I don’t need glasses: near-middle distances (I made the term up) like computer work or talking to someone within close proximity. I don’t need glasses for that stuff and in fact, it bothers me to wear glasses when I look at people within a few feet of me or when I stare at a computer screen.
Overall, I feel like my eyes are a mess, more or less. It could be worse. Geez, I hope, I’m not sounding like one of those old people who constantly talk about their health and drive other people crazy with boring tidbits of nothingness.
On the other hand, most of what I think and talk about are probably boring tidbits of nothingness. Some of it ends up in this cheesy blog, this cheesy blog that YOU are reading right now.
While I’m on a roll, here is one more tidbit. I used to have super dry, itchy eyes. Since recovering from heavy metal toxicity, my dry eyes are history. Moist is it!
So now, I think that brings us up to today.
Almost.
A month or two ago; honestly, I have lost track of how long it has been; I was in a big hurry, running out the door one evening to an important meeting. Well maybe the meeting was not that important, but at least the hurried part is true.
Anyway, I sat down on my bed to put my shoes on and felt something snap underneath my er, bum. I knew it was not our miniature long-haired dachshund because, we don’t have a miniature long-haired dachshund. No, it was my eyeglasses splitting into two perfectly symmetrical pieces. I was not about to show up at the meeting with tape between my brows reminiscent of the oldest living Harry Potter fan, so I borrowed one of my kids’ old pair of glasses which kind of actually worked.
I could see to drive, even in the dark. That was a good thing!
Well, not completely because these glasses don’t work for close-up things, and these specs I have been “borrowing” are a) way out of fashion and b) made for a fifth-grader’s face, not my big head.
Yes, it’s true confession time: I’ve been wearing little people’s eyeglasses.
Now, we’re up to the present.
Enter Warby Parker. Today, I tried on five pairs of really hip and cool Warby Parker frames that were sent to me for free via UPS shipping. They arrived in two days. I tried all five pairs on in the comfort and privacy of my own home. Then, to finish up my home-try on experience, I dropped the box of frames off at the nearest UPS place, with a new label affixed for free return shipping. Free! Yes, free! I love these guys!
But wait there’s more!
All of their frames which include standard (i.e. one type of) prescription lenses are $95(US)!
And if you’re an old geezer like me, you can buy just the frames for $85 and get your special botched-lasik, arsenic-poisoned, poor night vision filled with light-scattering debris, but still plenty-moist prescription filled elsewhere online and still save a bundle.
The first thing that caught my eye, was the great user experience on the Warby Parker website. This site is as hip as they come. It’s fun to navigate and their business model is a winner in my book. The one letdown is that I could not get the virtual try-on feature to work. But, honestly, I did not care because who buys frames without trying them on for real? On the other hand, the virtually try-on might be helpful when narrowing the choices which I admit, was a little bit hard for me to do. I really do favor many of their styles.
Anyway, I am sorry it took me so long to get to the punch line. Go check out Warby Parker, save a bundle, and get some knock-out retro-inspired, fashion-forward frames.
